I recently participated in a weekend retreat where the focus is to “CONNECT. ENGAGE. INSPIRE.” Everyone that attends must present/lead a discussion on whatever they want. I wanted to share my learnings from the weekend here.
On connections
At the begging of the weekend I sat in a corner and observed how people introduced each other or said hi to old friends. There were usually two scenarios:
New connection: initially they would shake hands, be a little nervous, but quickly start laughing and dive into a conversation. By the end, these connections were hugging and repeatedly saying: “let’s not be strangers”
Old connections (but hadn’t seen each other since a previous retreat): big hugs and smiles, as if time had never passed by and reconnected instantly.
Why are connections to others so important to us? – to the point that we can’t function when we don’t connect. Research states that social connection improves physical health and psychological well-being. One telling study showed that lack of social connection is a greater detriment to health than obesity, smoking and high blood pressure. On the the flip side, strong social connection leads to a 50% increased chance of longevity. I am sure as well that connection will help us become more aware of our cognitive biases.
Even if this group of individuals never connect again, I think our job has been done in creating a moment in time where we all came together to engage, connect, create, and be ourselves. We already helped ourselves to live longer even by an extra day (although if we want the ROI, hopefully the 2 days gives us 4 extra days of life). =)
On taboos
We had multiple conversations that together reminded me of how important it is to speak about societal taboos. Because of taboos we limit ourselves from learning from each other and being able to grow (both learning mistakes so we can avoid them or success so we can replicate them). When I say taboos I mean sharing personal finances (net worth, salary, investments), mental health (your own or of those you love), our own immigration status, sex, religion, political, and but also others like our successes and failures. As we spoke, I realized that we hold this information back because we are afraid of judgement and jealousy. Maybe if we understand that everyone is going through the same thing now (or has in the past), it will become easier to build a more empathetic civilization and one that can help with expanding global consciousness. I was humbled by how many people made themselves vulnerable over the weekend and allowed the group to learn more about them but also how the group came together to try to help and to just listen – because all of us need to be heard.
On creativity
I’ve always thought of myself as a non-creative person. Being an engineer and business professional (and failing Industrial Arts in 6th grade) I thought creativity was not for me. This weekend with our pottery making, kundalini yoga, design thinking process, presentation best practices (including learning about prezi), learning how to paint and sing, and screenwriting exercise – I realize that I am not that bad! Well, at least I can participate and realize that there is creativity in everyone, we just have to learn the process, exercise the skill, and we’ll get better. We might not become the next Michelangelo, but we’ll be able to at least draw better than a 5 year old (so I hope).
On power of the mind and choice
I’ve always been a believer in the power of choice but more importantly in the power of the mind. Multiple conversations, even those that don’t involve choice as a specific focus point reminded me that choice is everywhere and we not only need to be conscious of our choices but also be mindful of the power of how we react to the results of our choice. We spoke about designing our life for the next five years, choosing to buy based on what vs where our food comes from, going through a head on collision at 55 mph (and surviving it) and other conversations. We don’t always have the option to make a choice but we always have the option to choose how we react after the choice/event happens – it may not be easy, but we can use our brain to exercise it and accept our fate – and if we can’t accept it, then we can chose to change it. It made me think of “Success is getting what you want but happiness is wanting what you get”. It may be the positive in me talking but here is a tip, anytime we think of something negative, let’s chose to replace it with a positive thought. It’s just like someone writes a phrase you don’t like on a blackboard and then you get up, erase it and write something much more to your liking.
After attending this retreat I realize the importance of setting time in your crazy life to reflect and connect – because if we’re not creating moments, we’re only living days.
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